Nicks & Guddes blogg

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20 percent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.

By the fourth yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th"with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords ontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil
hav a reil sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis
and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas
pas on to oza pepl.

Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!